By Juan L. Mercado

(A UN economist-friend forwarded feature below) Tongue-in cheek, he explained: “This simple love story is told in Taglish.” He did not, however, send the author’s name. A pity.  How do you thank someone for laughter? Read this howler and enjoy– JLM)

It was jazz an ordinary day. The skies were clear and birds were chirping… Nasa SM ako noon at katatapos  ko  lang mamili  ng groceries sa food core. Si Angel Locsin, nagpro-provoke ng movie niya. Pull-packed talaga! Nakipila na rin ako.

Then suddenly, out of the loo, may bumulong sa akin ng: “Indaaayyyyy…” Huh? It sounded like a familiar sound. Who can it be now? “Dodong!”sigaw ko.

Napalakas yata  ang  voice  ko. Kasi, the other fans turned their backs to their behind. At napatingin sa   amin. Sabi  ko: “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be loud and proud.”

Hinawakan na lang ni Dodong ang kamay ko. At lumayo kami from the crowd. “Kamusta na, Inday? Do you come here open?” tanong nya.

“Bihira lang, Dodong. I’m just droppings by. Ethnic ang schedule ko eh” sabi ko.

“How can I forget to remember Dodong? Siya na may mata ni Piolo, dimple ni Aga, at bigote ni Rex Cortez. He’s every woman’s dreamboat.  I was just starting my tour of duty kay ate noon nang unang makilala ko si Dodong.  Contraction worker siya sa ginagawang bahay sa tapat namin. Naging kami for a while.  Then after that we were not an item anymore.

“Tanghali na Inday. What did you say we have lunch together?” tanong ni Dodong. “I don’t mine” sagot ko.

Sa restaurant, sabi ng waiter: “What’s your odor sir?” “Do you have porkshop?” tanong ni Dodong.

“Yes sir” sabi nito. “Our porkshop with a resistance to the teeth of boast of our chef.  Domestic careful selection of  pork with little fat of female liking is used. The exquisite cooking, which repeated trial and error and was completed”  Dagdag pa niya.  It also has healthy vegetables with salad feeling fully”

“And you maam?” sabi niya at  tingin  naman sa akin.   Hmmm….mukhang masarap yung   porkshop.  Pero  I’m cutting down on my carbon.”  Kaya pinigilan ko. I’ll just have water, Thanks.  Liquidate diet ako ngayon  eh,” sagot ko.

Pagkatapos kumain, nagyaya  si Dodong manood ng sine. “Teka teka, this is going too far. Besides, it’s a long, long, way to run.”

“Reality chess, Dodong. May asawa  na ako. Si Jay. As a mother of fact, I’m happily married”   pagmamalaki ko.

“Di  na pwede  yung tulad ng dati. Sorry. Pero I didn’t expect you still have more feelings than I expected. I don’t want you getting the way.  Past is fast. Therefore, cause and defect.” dagdag ko pa.

Tumahimik sya.  Parang may language barrel  na namagitan sa amin. The seconds that passed seemed like fraternity. Di  nagla-on, nagsalita na rin sya.  “I don’t care  less!” sigaw ni Dodong.

Shocks, give me a brake!   The nerd ng  taong ito para sigawan ako! To think it’s his other woman that caused our separation to part.

Kinabahan na ako. I felt speed bumps all over my body and was having panic Tinalikuran   ko siya at nagmadali  akong lumakad palayo.  Pero sumunod pa rin siya like a it’s all over. He’s like a monkey on my butt. Hanggang sa makakita ako ng security guard. Biglang nawala si Dodong.

“Excuse me kuya, pwedeng magtanong?” sabi   ko sa mamang guard. “Of course miss, I can help you with my pleasure.” sagot niya.

“Saan po ba ang exit? tanong ko. I got lost in my eyes,.” “Diretso lang.”sabi niya. “Then turn right anytime with care.”   “Thanks for your corporation” sabi ko.

Buti  na lang nandun si kuya. Pero saglit   lang, I smell something peachy. As I turned, nakita  ko  na

namang   nakasunod si Dodong!   Delaying static lang  pala  kanina ang pag-disappear niya.

“Nyahahaha! You can run but you can hide, Inday. No matter where you go, there you are!” pananakot nya.

Oh no, is this the end? This is too much, I feel degradable. My world  started falling afar. Then suddenly, Jay come  from behind!  Dodong was caught to the act! In the matter of minute, I am out of arms way.

“Thanks Jay, my love. But how did you…..?”   Bago   pa  man  ako matapos, sabi niya: “I was in the neighborhood. Fans din ako ni Angel Locsin,  eh.  I heard you shout. But at first I didn’t give it a thought. Pero nang makita ko kayong  magkahawak ng holding hands, then I give it a thought. I know something is a missed.”

From then on, Dodong did not brother me again. In fact, he didn’t even sister me. As in platonic at wala na talaga.   Pero kami ni Jay, heto, shoot  sailing  pa   rin ang relationship. Lalo pa ngayon, open na kami sa isa’t-isa at walang exhibitions. I feel I’m on cloud line. ####